Back to blogging!

My sister brought it to my attention that I haven't posted a single entry in the year 2013. I knew I was slacking, but I didn't realize just how much. So here I am...back into my blogging!

2013 has been a busy and very chaotic year for us. The boys are getting bigger and we are quickly outgrowing our home. For that reason, we are on the hunt for a second house! We decided to buy a foreclosure/fixer-upper that we can work on while renting out our current place. There has been a great deal of discussion lately about us relocating and heading back down to the lower 48. We realize that a lot has changed since we left California nearly 5.5 yrs ago, but we can't shake this lonely feeling here. Whether we return to Cali or find somewhere new, we're giving ourselves a 2-3 year plan.

By fixing up a home and re-selling it in a year or so (along with our existing property), we feel confident that we'd be leaving with a good investment on our hands. And it's only a matter of time before I land a good nursing job. Levi's already joking that I get to be his sugar mama.

The house hunt has been beyond frustrating and not at all what I expected. Heck, I thought buying a house would be fun. But buying a foreclosure has proven to be much harder that we thought. There are a lot of investors out there right now that keep swooping in, offering cash, and stealing all the good ones. And who's going to say no to cash? I don't blame them one bit.

We had one home that we were absolutely in love with and we even offered above the asking price. We let ourselves get too invested and shopped around and designed all the repair work. Apparently it just wasn't meant to be, so the hunt continued. We just placed an offer in on our second choice and it seems very promising. The current owners are going through a divorce and the wife has left state. The husband has accepted our offer and now we are just waiting on the wife to sign papers on her end. I'm still a bit heartbroken over the first house and the excitement of this one hasn't really kicked in, but I do see great potential in this one. We are beyond ready for a nice big house with a matching big lot! Lucas spotted the giant two story tree house in the back and that's all the convincing it took to get him on board!

So we should hear a confirmation by the end of the week. And I have all of my Pinterest boards full of repair and decor ideas. I know this is going to be a lot of work, but I'm excited to fix up a house with my hubby. What's the point of being married to a Contractor if we can't take advantage of it?! Sounds like a new hobby brewing :)

Expect lots of new posts this week! I sure have missed writing.

Winter Wonderland

As much as I've tried to avoid the notion...winter is definitely here. My 4-Runner just got a nice new set of studded snow tires (thanks to hubby!), the vehicles need to be plugged in at night, and we can't forget the obvious blanket of white snow that's covering the entire city.

I spent a week or so pretending that it hasn't really happened and secretly hoping that the snow wouldn't stick. But now it's time to face reality. Winter is here. It really really is.

 

I realized that I am about to endure my 6th Alaskan winter and yet this California body of mine still hasn't quite adapted. I'm already dreading the dry skin and cracking scalp that I know is about to happen. Between the crisp dry air and having to wash my hands every 15 minutes at the hospital, my poor skin is a mess. Mental note to self: use more coconut oil!

So even though I am not a huge fan of snow I find it absolutely adorable that my boys are. They love to play outside regardless of the temperature. And the best part....preschool and daycare help them get that daily fix. I love that they get out, but even more when it's not me having to do it! This California girl prefers to hibernate all winter drinking hot cocoa and watching the snow through a window. But I'm sure there will be many days of snow play in my future. Now that I'm outnumbered I'm bound to be drug outside a time or two.

Toddlerhood

A little late, I know, but our littlest man is officially a toddler. No more infant. Such a big, handsome, happy man he is, too. It's crazy to think that I was holding him for the first time just a little over one year ago. Feels like he's honestly been in my life forever. He has been walking for months and is quite the runner these days. He loves to follow his big brother around everywhere and I've even caught them play wrestling on a number of occasions. I'm sure it wont be long before those turn into full fledged wrestles.

He absolutely loves music! He dances, claps and sings anytime he hears a song. I recently took him to a book party in the park and it wasn't long before he made his way to the music tent. I turned my back for two seconds and he crawled up onto the drums, stood up, and was dancing away. I'm thinking of putting him in a weekend music class for babies since music is such a big part of his life. He loves all genres of music and will even head bang to the ABC's. But the cutest of all is his singing. His can actually sing to the tune of Twinkle, Twinkle.

He is so outgoing and can put a smile on anyones face. He is talking quite a bit and really comprehends commands and questions. It's so fun to ask him to grab something and watch him follow through with the request. His amazement, and even frustrations, are so amusing to watch. Little people really are the coolest!

Since Mr. Man started walking our lives have forever changed. He used to be so easy going but he is really starting to push his limits. I'm pretty sure he should have been named Danger because I find myself constantly gasping as I discover him climbing or standing on random objects. My bet is that he'll need stitches by two!

He absolutely loves dogs and will spot them out everywhere we go. On a recent hike he didn't miss one single dog that passed us by. His little "dog, dog, dog!" never gets old.

As crazy as it is that my baby is now a toddler, my oldest is about to turn 4! Holy smokes...is this even possible?!

This kid has got the funnest personality around! I honestly have never gone a single day without him making me laugh. He is sweet, smart, funny and an amazing big brother!

I try to spend special "date" time with Lucas because it's not often that we get to be alone. With the change of semesters my schedule now allows me to take him to school a few days a week. We often have a bit of time to spare so we are creating new morning traditions together!

I just had his Parent-Teacher conference and was told that he is doing fantastic! This year we put him in the Pre-K program as well so Lucas has made many new friends. He is so sweet and all of the kids just gravitate to him. Not to mention to the buddies he's made from daycare also. Who wouldn't want to be Lucas' friend? He's a pretty amazing kid!

He has an extra special birthday party coming up this weekend so I am busy prepping all the Superhero details. I can't wait! Four whole years have flown by since this little munchkin made me a mama. And what an amazing four years it has been!

Levin's 1st Birthday

I am busily prepping for Lucas' birthday party next weekend and it dawned on me that I never posted anything about Levin's 1st birthday. He is such a unique little person so I wanted a birthday theme to resemble that. Nothing caught my eye while shopping around so I figured I'd get creative with all of his favorite things....airplanes, snakes, and blueberries!

I carved an airplane out of a watermelon and stuffed it full of grapes, cut out airplane pb&j's, and dipped marshmallows in delicious blue colored chocolate to make propellers. The snake bread sticks with olive eyes ended up being a pretty big hit, as were the yummy blueberry muffins (instead of cupcakes).

For the cake I stuck with angel food cake and fresh strawberries. It was adorable and took only a few minutes to make. Best of all, the birthday boy enjoyed it. And mom was happy that his belly was full of healthy strawberries instead of sugary frosting!

We had such a great turnout and the weather thankfully cooperated with us. It was a tad windy, but the kiddos sure didn't mind. We even had a surprise moose visitor run out onto the open field. We reserved one of the nearby parks so the kids were able to play on the structures as well as run around the fields. All it took was a bucket of balls and the party took care of itself!

My goofy little man is so loved by his family and friends and it warms my heart to see people come together to celebrate his existence. I love this boy more than I ever imagined I could! And I even love making fun of his silliness...hence the "Baby Gollum" photo above!

Pushing limits

Yes world, I am still alive. I miss this little blog of mine and the satisfaction that I get from writing it. As busy as I am, I'm going to try and devote more time to keeping this lifeline of mine going.

My life just continues to get crazier and crazier and I find myself buried in the midst of all of its chaos. Some days...well most days to be honest, I find myself questioning why I continue to torture myself with all that's piling on my plate. I feel like life just keeps dishing me up another dose before I've even managed to finish up my first. I'm trying my best to keep a smile on my face and a positive attitude around my kids, but I'm sinking. Or more like floating. I'm keeping myself afloat for the time being, but we all know that you can only tread on for so long.

School is truly taking up more of my time that I am comfortable with. I am struggling to keep a happy balance and lately feel a wide array of emotions. I feel overwhelmed, guilty for not being as available to my kids, and even embarrassed by the parent I'm becoming. My children have always been my entire life and I'm constantly reminded that they are on a temporary back burner. Don't get me wrong, I haven't abandoned my children by any means, but my head and heart are not always in the right place these days. My mornings consist of herding everyone out the door with full bellies and all their belongings, and my evenings consist of feeding those tummies again and getting everyone settled into bed. In between those few hours each day that I'm actually around my kids, I'm juggling school, housework, and a number of other responsibilities. When did my life get so fast tracked? Where did my countless cuddle hours go with my kids where our biggest worry of the day was choosing which activity to include ourselves in?

I have officially passed the half way mark and I am beginning to see a little light at the end of my tunnel. I try to be optimistic in realizing that I'm half way done, but it's hard not to wonder "am I seriously only half way done?!" I'm ready to have my simple family life back where all of my energy and focus stays on my loved ones. I'm ready to enjoy my nights and weekends again instead of feeling continuously exhausted and overwhelmed. I miss taking my children to weekday activities and having play dates with friends. And I especially miss the happy, energetic, up-beat mom that I used to be.

I talk to other nursing students and I know that I'm not the only person feeling this way. I know we are all just taking it day by day until this madness of a program is over, but I hate that I decided to take on this responsibility while my children are so little. I pray for time to quickly pass by so I can be done with this phase of my life. But I also want time to stop in its tracts so that I can savor these precious moments with my babes. Either way, I can't win. I'm secretly hoping that they are young enough not to remember my absences so that I don't carry around this guilt forever. I'm doing great in school, but wondering if that's at the expense of my family? Lucas asked me recently if I always take him to preschool and daycare because I'm "tired of him." Needless to say that one instantly sent me to tears and ruined my entire day. Please Lord, tell me that my child is not going to hate me and grow up with unresolved abandonment issues. Tell me that everything is going to work out just fine and that it will all be worth it in the end. There are countless working families around the world functioning just as we are now. So why do I feel so guilty all the time?

I remind myself that I'm not doing this for me. Yes, I want a career. I want to be successful and have a rewarding life to look back on. But I want my family even more. This education allows me to have the family I dream about and to give my children the many opportunities that I want for them. This isn't for me. It's for them. And as long as I can keep reminding myself that, I will continue to float.

These are the faces that keep me going, and these and the faces that light up my world. I never forget how blessed I am to call myself their mother. This is what life is all about!

11 Months!

Levin is eleven! Eleven months that is. Hard to believe we're only one more month away from toddlerhood. How exciting yet incredibly sad at the same time.

He is one wild little creature! Big boy toys absolutely fascinate him and he loves to act like he's already a toddler. Maybe having an older brother prompts him to want to do certain activities, but I feel like he never wants to play like a baby anymore

If you can't tell, he loves vehicles! He loves riding in/on them, playing with them and imitating their noises. It's amazing how much of a boy this little man is already. He is in love with airplanes most of all! He spotted his first one flying above a few weeks ago and it nearly made me and Levi tear up. He heard the sound, gasped, and pointed his tiny little finger at the sky. He stood there, wide-eyed and pointing, until the plane was out of sight. Shortly after coming back inside we found him playing with one of Lucas' cars, but pretending it was a plane. He was swooping it around his head making airplane noises...loving every minute of it! There's nothing greater than watching your children learn right before your eyes! His expressions and actions were absolutely priceless to watch.

He loves being outside and is really comfortable crawling around in the dirt and grass now. That cautious little baby is gone...now he's hard to keep on eye on! He is walking around and taking as many as 10 steps at a time. He loves to stand and squat. I think he's pretty proud that he can get up without something to hold onto these days.

He's also a big fan of hiking! He's always loved to be worn so it was no surprise that he would love it while hitting the trails. Nature is so inspiring to babies and I just love watching him explore his surroundings. Some of his favorites are sticks, rocks, trees, and leaves!

The biggest development this month (other than practically walking!) is his huge stride in communication and understanding. He loves to mimic our actions and demonstrate how to properly use certain items. He knows that phones are for talking on and if I say "hello" he will put it to his ear!

He will also follow commands and shake, tap, clap, and bonk items if I tell him to. He isn't talking near as much as brother was at eleven months, but I am still so proud of his words. He now says dada, mama, dog, ni-night, more,  and my all time favorite....tickle-tickle! I can't help but giggle every time he pretends to tickle. He is very attached to his green blankie and a few days ago I could tell something was wrong. He was crawling around looking for something and was obviously sad that he couldn't find it. He looked at me very pitifully and wimpered 'ni-night?" I knew he wanted his blankie (as he's asked for it a few times before) so I went and pulled it out of his crib. His eyes lit up, he squeeze it super hard and then he started rubbing his fingers all over it while laughing "tickle-tickle ni-night". It was the cutest and funniest thing I have ever seen him do!

He is also very communicative while eating. Every time I tell him to open, he says "ahh". And when you ask him if something is good he immediately smiles and says "mmm!". I probably ask him both questions like 20 times each meal because I think it's just super stinkin' cute! I'll even admit that I'm waiting for him to mix up the answers...but he never does. He's a smart little cookie!

He is still a super eater, fantastic sleeper and now a determined climber. I have such a hard time keeping this boy on the floor. He'll climb boxes, buckets, chairs, you name it!

He's almost too big to throw into the sink for a quick bath these days. His hair is starting to get so long that it's curling at the tips and he even has 3 teeth (working on #4). One of the top teeth decided to come out by themselves so he looks so goofy at the moment. I can't help but laugh every time he smiles! The other top is beginning to protrude through so hopefully it's a quick advancement. Teeth are so evil!

This last month has been so full of excitement! As big as he's getting, I love that I can still look down at him and see a tiny little person. He has the greatest personality and is such a magnet of happiness!

Birthday Relaxation

I just had the most amazing birthday weekend ever...all thanks to my awesome hubby! After classes on Friday I was sent to the top floor of the downtown Sheraton to be pampered at the Ice Spa. I got an amazing hour long massage, followed by a manicure and a pedicure. Wow! What a relaxing way to spend my day! I have never had so many services done at once and the view was spectacular! I stared out at the ocean while getting my nails done...perfection!

I got home, thanked hubby for the awesome time, and was then instructed to pack my bags. What?! Where in the world were we going? And what about the kids?

Apparently hubby had all the details figured out. We got the kids settled down and then we headed out of town. I was whisked away to Alyeska Resort in Girdwood and couldn't stop grinning from ear to ear. I've always wanted to go and didn't see it happening between school and the boys. But both of the kids sleep wonderfully through the night and are angels for our sitter, so we made the leap!

Not only did he book us a suite on the very top floor, but he also made us mountain top dinner reservations for Seven Glaciers! We took the tran ride up and got to sit and enjoy a gorgeous view while we had the most amazing meal of our lives. Honestly, I have never raved about a meal as much as this one. Best food and best drinks EVER!

The next morning we went to breakfast and then decided to take a swim at the indoor salt water pool. We must have gotten lucky with the fishing weekend because we had the place practically to ourselves! It was so nice to swim, enjoy the hot tub and take a nice sit in the sauna alone with my man. Made us both realize how much we truly miss the water.

We arrived back home around noon on Saturday and as our sitter was leaving she said that she would be back around 6. I had no idea what she was talking about and I couldn't help but laugh when hubby started grinning. He had surprised me with tickets to the Citizen Cope concert but we decided to do dinner and a movie instead. It was raining and we were both far too exhausted for an outdoor concert. (thank goodness for Craigslist). We went out, dined, had a few drinks, and saw the new Batman movie. A lovely date night to top off our trip!

What an awesome weekend! My husband has never been the big romantic type and can never really keep a secret, so I was ecstatic about all the effort he put forward for my birthday. It was great to spend some alone time and pamper ourselves as a couple. I couldn't have asked for anything better!