The true role of a parent

It's no secret that I wasn't exactly thrilled with the age gap that is going to be present between my boys (2yrs 9.5 months). If I had it my way, I would already have been caring for this new baby months ago. I had always envisioned my children two years apart and thought for the longest time that that's what was best. After completing a significantly large paper on Early Personality Development for one of my upper division psychology courses, I am now convinced that Mother Nature knew what was best all along!

Each week this semester we learned about various personality theorists and their personalized views of why we come to be the people we are. We were allowed to chose any topic pertaining to personality for our final paper and I was naturally drawn to the childhood aspect. I looked at the various theories of early personality development (from birth to adolescence) revolved around four different paradigms of psychology; the Psychoanalytic, Sociocultural, Trait, and Learning Paradigm. I am extremely impressed with the outcome of this paper...especially considering I did it all in 3 days! (I wonder what the psychologists would say about my uncanny procrastination habits?!)

I wont bore you with all of the research and theories of each person, but I can honestly say that this paper touched me on a very personal level. Being a mother is THE number one priority in my life and realizing just how crucial my role is to the development of my sons was not only an eye opener, but an inspiration as well.

The two topics that tugged at me the most revolved around Alfred Adler's Birth Order Theory, and Dollard & Miller's critical situations in childhood.

Alfred Adler considered the birth order of siblings an indicator of their future attitudes and behavior patterns. Because each child does indeed receive different treatment from the parents, he really felt that the order of their arrival ultimately set the stage for their future. First born children naturally receive all of the love and affection in the beginning, but reality takes a toll when another baby is thrown into the mix. He claimed that if a child is old enough to have developed a lifestyle for themselves by the time the second is born, their attitudes towards the new baby will be positive and a strong relationship will emerge. However, on the opposite spectrum, a great deal of resentment could arise if the gap is too small. I honestly feel that Lucas has found his own. He is an intelligent, smart, sweet child with a comprehension level of a kindergartner. I have no doubt in my mind that he will be great with his brother and offer the love and support towards him that I hope to see.

He also believed that the second born children were the most fortunate because they go through life continuously pushing themselves. The constantly struggle to keep up with the demands of the older sibling and it typically results in them becoming ambitious individuals. I believe that Lucas has set some very high expectations for this baby and I am so thankful that he will have him to look up to. I strive to push Lucas as much as I can, but I accept that I can only do so much. Our next son will follow in some of the greatest footsteps and I truly believe he will learn a great deal from his older brother.

John Dollard & Neal Miller's personality theory relied on a learning approach and the circumstances of reward and punishment. They referred to childhood as “a period of transitory psychosis because infants are completely at the mercy of their parents for the satisfaction of their needs.” Of the four critical situations in childhood, the "cleanliness training" was the one that stood out the most for me. They claimed that a parent's responses to potty training play and extremely important part in personality development. Interesting! Children have a hard time distinguishing between disapproval of an action, over disapproval of themselves, and a negative attitude could really hinder the way your child perceives himself in the future. Potty training has not been an easy journey to date, but I understand the importance of waiting until he is ready. Although he was doing fantastic at one point, he has since reverted backwards and lost all interest in the matter. But this is ok! I know people claim that its ideal to have the oldest trained before the new baby, but I am not comfortable pushing my son into something that he is not ready for. Boys are said to be harder to train than girls...and I'm going to have myself a pair of them! I'm completely prepared and have the confidence and patience that it'll happen when it's meant to.

Here was my closing summary:

So what does this all mean? Ultimately, early childhood has more of an impact on adult personality than one could ever believe. Although numerous theorists have proposed ideas from various perspectives, most agree that the developmental stages and associated behaviors set the pathway for both positive and negative personality structures. A repetitive theme through many of these theories relies on the helplessness of a young child and the need for support and guidance. Children rely on others for their support and safety and the manner that those needs are met ultimately drive a child to creating their own expectations and realities about the world around them. “Personality patterns are habitual tendencies which develop because an infant will use the patterns that are most effective in controlling his social environment” (Cole, & Morgan,p. 387). Children test boundaries and experiment with parental interactions as a means of learning and growth. The feedback they receive aids in structuring their behavior, temperament, and ultimately their personality. The differing actions that children receive from parents, along with a child’s individual responses to them, allow for each child to develop uniquely. Therefore, the role of a parent does not stop at basic food and shelter. The emotional connection with our children and our positive actions speak volumes in defining who they are to become. Although there is still much to be learned in the field of Early Personality Development, we can truly see its important integration into the entire spectrum of personality. As with every problem in math and science, it is important to start with the most basic and underlying factors if we are to ever understand something in its complexity.

Pretty good, huh?!

So take this blog to heart and remember just how important being a parent truly is. Yes, children are the future of tomorrow, but we are the ones responsible for pointing them in the right direction. Even though children grow and really start to assert their independence at a young age, remember your ongoing role in their lives. I have a duty to my sons to be the best mother I can be, and that is not a job description that I intend to take lightly.

And yes, Nursing is still my major. For those of you wondering why I've been overwhelmed with three intense Psych classes this semester, that is my minor. I only have one psychology course to go that I'm taking this summer, and I saved the best for last...Child Development!

If anyone wants to hear more about the different theories, you're welcome to read my paper. I'd be happy to share what I learned!

BIG

23 weeks!
According to Lucas, I am big. Well, not just big...I'm BIG! Thanks, son.

He caught a glimpse of me getting out of the shower and nearly stopped in his tracks. He said "WOAH, you're big mom!" and his eyeballs looked as though they were about to pop out of their sockets. How could I not laugh?

Levi took Lucas on a bike ride to the park and then they played kung-fu in the front yard for nearly an hour afterwards. (These boys are absolutely hilarious to watch!) When they came in I was asking him a bunch of questions about what they were doing. Who was winning? Who was fastest? Who's stronger? And so forth. Of course he naturally claimed himself to be the winner, and to be the fastest, but he proudly admitted that daddy was the stronger of the two. When I asked him who was smaller he answered he was. When I asked him who was biggest...without any hesitation he blurted out "MOM". Ugh, I wasn't even included in these daddy/Lucas comparisons and Levi could not stop laughing hysterically. He claimed that Lucas was definitely trying to tell me something :)

We had Levi's birthday dinner last night at Benihana (YUM!) and the couple sitting next to use were so sweet and kind. They just adored Lucas and couldn't stop complimenting on how well he was behaving. I think they were more interested in Lucas' expressions than watching the chef themselves! Anyways, as I naturally do, I had to excuse myself for a restroom break. When I returned, the wife turned to me and said that her and her husband had a bet going on. I smiled and assumed the upcoming question was whether I was having a boy or a girl...but it wasn't! They wanted to see who could guess closest to my due date. I instantly chuckled and thought "oh boy, this is going to be interesting". The wife estimated I was due in mid-June and the husband thought early July. I looked at Levi and we both start laughing! When I admitted they were both wrong and that I wasn't due until the end of August, they were speechless. Apparently I look more like 8 months pregnant than 5.

I must admit that gaining weight has been a walk in the park for me this pregnancy! With Lucas, I struggled to gain despite working up on the slopes where the entire kitchen staff nearly spoiled me rotten. This time, however, I feel as though I'm barely eating and yet I'm packing on the pounds. The "recommended" weight gain at this point in my pregnancy is one pound per week. This time I'm averaging about two! My midwife laughed on Monday when she realized I put on almost 8 pounds in just 3.5 weeks. I honestly don't touch the scale unless I'm at an appointment and feel that my body is going to gain whatever it needs to in order to make a healthy baby!

So yes, most importantly, my toddler thinks I'm huge. Little does he know my belly still has a lot of growing to do!

Taxidermy

Last night Levi turned on the History channel, as he often does, and we watched an episode of Pawn Stars. For some reason we both really like this show and just laugh at how stingy the offers are. As soon as it was over and we were about to head to bed...a new show came on. Mounted in Alaska. I'd never heard of this show but the huge nerd in me came out when I realized that it's filmed right here in Anchorage! Knight's Taxidermy is literally only 12 minutes from my house (and yes, I iPhone mapped that). I was so amused and couldn't stop thinking to myself "ooh, I drive down that road!" Anyways, for the first time I actually saw the process and the artistic requirements that go into mounting an animal.

When we first moved to Alaska we went to a Sportsman show to browse around. As you can imagine, it was quite a different life to be exposed to. I had a really hard time justifying why on earth someone would kill an innocent animal just to hang as a trophy on the wall. To be honest, I cried when we passed the table advertising trips to Africa where you got to pick which animal you wanted to hunt from a brochure. I was heartbroken that such beautiful creatures were being slaughtered just for the heck of it.

Now that I've lived here for nearly four years, I guess you could say I'm pretty used to all the animal heads. Many stores and even some of the restaurants here proudly display Alaskan wildlife for the public. I am fairly immune to big moose, bear, sheep, wolves, etc. but I still have a hard time when I see something more exotic. It was really interesting to see the level of care that must go into creating a mount and the efforts the craftsmen take to ensure it looks as realistic as possible. I was genuinely impressed and really do see their skill as an artistic ability.

Now, the true reason for this post. Levi has been joking for years that he wants to mount our dog, Ace, after he passes. I always laughed and brushed this off as a mere joke...but now I realize he is actually serious! Is it just me or does this just sound completely bizarre and down right weird?? I think I could handle a mount in my home if I had to (although I still probably wouldn't really want to), but my own pet? Oh goodness, NO!

He has it all planned out. He wants him mounted with a vicious snarl and represented as if he's attacking a fox. What the heck?? I don't think I can let my sweet old Ace get turned into a scary attack mold attended to decorate up the fireplace. No way. Just look how sweet and innocent he is...

So, I laid it all down on the line last night. I looked Ace right in the eyes and told him that he is absolutely forbidden to pass away on us. He is nearly 8 years old and I worry that he'll leave us well before I am ready. I guess in all reality, you're never ready. But I definitely am not prepared to go rounds with my crazy husband on this matter. Oh lordy.

Dying Eggs!

We went on a mini Easter egg hunt Saturday morning at Park & Play, one of the local indoor play areas. It was over in nearly five minutes, but Lucas had a great time! He found 13 eggs on his own and was very proud of his accomplishment! And even more excited when he discovered the candy hiding in each egg :)

That night, I hard boiled some eggs and we dyed them together as a family. Lucas thoroughly enjoyed this! He was very intrigued with the tablets that changed the water...

He watched as daddy carefully placed an egg into the green cup.

Of course, he insisted on trying that too. Look at that focus!

He also decided that the eggs needed to be stirred while we waited.

I didn't get a picture of the final product until Easter was over, but he is very excited to have colorful eggs in our fridge. The question now...will he actually eat them?!


I hope everybody had a wonderful Easter with their loved ones! We got a nice surprise Skype call from Hannah over in Africa, and then had a FaceTime call session with my mom and brothers. I am so thankful that technology allows me to see my family and friends on the holidays!

Showing Hannah his Easter egg!

Groupon

If you haven't heard...I'm a Groupon addict. I wake up every morning, grab my iPhone, and immediately check my e-mails, Facebook, and daily Groupons. Yes, I have this uncanny desire to save money and sometimes that leads me to buying things I don't really need, but insist on having because it's a good deal. I'm going to claim this is a genetic tendency and blame my grandma for this one! As a child we used to practically grocery shop in her garage because her shelves were stocked full of everything one might ever need. Yesterday morning I snagged yet another Groupon deal and I am sure excited about this one!

I absolutely love making Picaboo photo books! The software is free and the books are fully customizable! I started with our wedding book and have since made 10 total (wedding, honeymoon, pregnancy, birth, birthdays, vacations, etc). I printed them all with the same black cover and all in the same size. My plan is to continue making them and to have a collection of our lives in a nice little matching volume set. I can't wait to make my second pregnancy book and little man's home birth! Oh geez, I just realized I have to make our latest Hawaii trip too...I'd better get started!

This weekend, as a reward to myself for finishing out this crazy semester, I'm cashing in my $29 mani-pedi Groupon that I scored a little while back. I just love a great deal! I'm sure my little toesies will appreciate this one too!

Big Brother Cues

I am convinced now, more than ever, that Lucas is going to be a FANTASTIC big brother. I would be lying if I claimed not to talk about the new baby on occasion, but lately it has been all Lucas! He brings him up into so many of our conversations and loves to talk about him every day.

Here are my five favorite brother situations/comments from this week:

1. I was sitting on the couch minding my own business when Lucas came over and lifted up my shirt. He wrapped my stomach up with his blankie (which, believe me, he doesn't like to share with anybody). He told me that we needed to keep the baby warm and that he wanted to share his favorite blankie with him. Aww!

2. I spent a morning filing papers and starting to organize/clean up our office. I'm having a hard time with the idea of parting with my office, but I know baby needs his own room! Lucas came in and asked what I was doing and when I explained that we were going to turn the office into the baby's new bedroom, he declined. He insisted that the baby needed to sleep in his room with him! He was very adamant and ordered that I stop cleaning.

3. Levi and I were watching a movie one evening while Lucas was in his room playing quietly. He ran out holding a baby rattle that he found buried in one of his bins and excitedly yelled, "I want to give this to the baby!"

4. After making Lucas dinner a few nights ago I asked him to sit down at his little table. He always sits in the same seat, but this time decided to change it up a bit. He told me that he wanted to sit in a different seat, mommy had to sit in his seat, and that the other seat was for ______! This was the first time he had ever called his baby brother by name without being prompted and my heart nearly melted! (I don't know if Levi wants to announce the name just yet...but stay tuned!)

5. And finally, I was able to record the sweetest little voice memos in the world! I love to sneak out the phone and record him without his knowing because he doesn't get all shy and quiet like he does with videos. Lucas was laying on my belly again, of his entirely own doing, and started calling out to the baby. (The second memo is him admitting that he drooled on my stomach). The conversations went like so:

Memo #1: "______, come out! ______! I hear him! I hear him! I hear him in there. I hear him in there! Oh, you wanna play kung-fu?" (He's been watching too many Bruce Lee videos with dad if you couldn't tell!)

Memo #2: L: "Are you here ______? Ohhhh. What happened? I spit on him. I spit on my baby brother! (I laugh) I spit on him!"
Me: "You spit on him?"
L: "Yeah! I saw that."
Me: "Tell him sorry."
L:"Sorry. Hey...he's not waking up."
Me: "He's sleeping."
L: "Yeah. Come on mom."

I can't figure out how to get them into an uploadable form for a blog, but if anyone would like to hear them...just let me know! I can e-mail them to you or text them if you have an iPhone. Believe me, they'll make your day!

I can already tell that he is going to be very lovable and extremely protective over his baby brother. Only 18 more weeks to go!

What they DON'T tell you

I'm sure I've made it known on a million different occasions...I just love being pregnant! There is nothing more beautiful or rewarding than creating and nurturing a new life. I love my growing belly (and cup size!) and I especially love feeling my son move around. I'm remind each day how blessed I am to carry another child!

BUT...I'm in pain. Everybody loves a belly and the entire concept of pregnancy, but you don't really know what you're getting yourself into until you physically experience it. It isn't all sunshine and rainbows, I can promise you that. Most people think of morning sickness and swollen feet but let me tell ya, that's not all! I suffered from a number of unpleasanties with Lucas, but I knew that it was all worth it in the long hall.

This time around has been pretty uncomfortable to say the least. The second trimester is known as the honeymoon phase of pregnancy because morning sickness is no more and belly size isn't too significant. I am eating wonderfully and happy to be active again, but there are three main areas that just don't seem to be going my way:

1. Heartburn. Oh. My. Goodness. I don't remember it being so severe last time but I am now dependent on tums. Eating seems to make it so much worse, but going hungry is obviously not an option. My therapy? Ice cream! Every night has ended with a yummy serving of ice cream...which just gives me that extra calcium boost(or so I'm going to claim!)

2. Incontinence. This may sound like a laughing matter, and although it is for Levi, it's not! If I sneeze, cough, laugh too hard, or stand up too fast....I often pee my pants. This happened a small number of times with Lucas when I was in my third trimester, but now its a fairly common occurrence. Apparently I need to work on those kegels!

3. My aching back!! I had to get a back support brace during my third trimester before because the distribution of weight gain proved to be a bit more than my spine could handle. Unfortunately, this baby is no exception. He only weighs 1lb at this point but I am already having difficulties sleeping and getting through the day without needing a good rub down. Last night I threw my back out and was paralyzed with pain. I have never experienced anything like that before and it was nearly 15 minutes before I could stand again. I tried to push through the pain and resume a standing position, but my back just physically wouldn't budge. I guess its time to start seeing a chiropractor again! Lucas weighed 8.5lbs at birth and if this one is anything close to that...I'm in for a rough couple of months.

I will only be 22 weeks tomorrow and realize that I still have quite a bit of time before baby makes his debut. I'm trying to take it easy and go for walks when I can. I say a good massage needs to be in my very, very near future!

Spring is on the way!!

Ok, so technically it has been "spring" for almost a month, but living in Alaska makes me forget that. Our snow is FINALLY melting and we have been really enjoying the beautiful sunshine lately!

As the snow melts it uncovers garbage and debris that has been buried all winter. We have been making an effort to clean up the yard a little bit each day in hopes that it'll be lush, green, and beautiful in no time! Last week Lucas collected fallen pine cones from the snow and placed them into his little green wheel barrel that he loves so much.

He then got ahold of some of daddy's power tools and went to town making holes in the snow. Or should I say mushy ice?

In just a week the snow melted significantly and we spend the evening last night riding bikes down our street! I was so proud of little man- he caught on so fast! Last year he wasn't quite big enough nor did he really have the leg strength to pedal his tricycle. This year, he was on a roll! And it only took a few tries to get him going.

Our snow remains longer than most because we are quite a ways up the mountain. Unfortunately, this also means we get the snow first, too. But that's ok. It's almost melted now and that's what counts. We've enjoyed lots of yard time and even took a nice little family stroll around the neighborhood a few nights back. I am so excited for summer!! Can you tell?!

RIP Walt

Levi's grandfather was a great man, and one that will not soon be forgotten. When I met him for the first time I though he was just the cutest little native man! He welcomed me into his family with open arms and always made me laugh. He especially liked to remind me how skinny I was and nearly force food at me every time we came to visit. This loss has hit Levi's family very hard and I know only time will heal the wounds. The world has lost a wonderful, wonderful man. We love you Gramps!

Trying to stay strong

This last week has been nothing short of a downwards emotional roller coaster. I have been doing my best to stay strong and supportive to my family, but that's not always an easy thing to do when you're down in the blue yourself. I'm not one to complain about all of the little things in life, but sometimes a good vent helps.

The week started off with a huge disappointment...Levi and his stepfather were denied the slope contract that they were so eagerly led-on to believe they had. Levi was suppose to be working up in Prudhoe Bay for the next four months and I'd be lying if I didn't say that job was an answer to our prayers. We aren't in a very bad bind financially, but the expectation of this job let us to get ourselves a little more behind that I am comfortable with. We weren't going to go to Hawaii this year and both take time off work, but because this job was scheduled to start in April we decided to go ahead with our plans. This job would have given us the freedom to pay off all of our debt and the majority of our remaining mortgage (which we are so desperately trying to do before our move). It was a huge disappointment to find out another company was awarded the position, especially after the company had given our guys their schedule already. I feel like we were led on and used to fulfil a bid quote. I am thankful he will not be away for so long, but we were really depending on that job to get us where we needed to be.

With the job now out of the question, I have been struggling to find means for us to save money. I've been taking a look at all of our bills and doing my best to eliminate whatever is not necessary. Expecting another baby in a few months also has me a little on edge. We gave the majority of clothes to a couple in need after Lucas outgrew them, and I just found out they are also expecting another baby boy. I don't feel it is right for me to now ask for our stuff back, so we now have the burden of starting fresh. All I have left are some clothes (mostly older), a crib, and a jumper. I had a hard time emotionally when we gave away his car seat and stroller to Levi's cousin, but Levi assured me that we could get all new stuff next time around. It's a bit of a stresser realizing that we need to provide all over again while Levi is not working as much as we would like. I'm praying work picks up soon and that I can get my Doula thing up and running in a short amount of time.

I was also saddened by some news that a family member may have to relive a health scare that we have been praying was now behind us. I hate to see someone that I love struggling with this fear and stress on her own, and it hurts that I can't be back home to help. I would give anything for this to go away and rid my family of the fear and unknown.

I have also been struggling to get Lucas in pre-school and finally realized this week that it's just not going to happen. I called around to a million different places in town and he is just not eligible. Our plan was to start him in school in August as the new school year began, and also right before the new baby came. We felt that this would be a good thing for him socially and mentally, and it would also give me a few hours in the morning of alone time with baby. Turns out he needs to be 3 before Sept. 1st to qualify, and that is just not the case. It was very difficult for me to accept the fact that my son has to wait an entire year before being permitted to go to preschool. He is extremely intelligent and needs to be pushed, but because he was born just a few months later he is forced to wait an entire year. He will be one of the oldest students in his classes for the rest of his life, and although my boys will be almost 3 years apart, they will only be 2 grades apart in school. This has angered, frustrated, and down right pissed me off! He is more ready than many of the 3 year olds that I know, and he wont have the opportunity he deserves.

As if the week couldn't get any worse and I hadn't been stressed or shedded enough tears, Levi's grandfather passed away this morning. We knew it was coming soon, but nothing can really prepare you for the actual event. Levi is beside himself with anger and regret for not going to visit him in Missouri, but his grandfather made it clear that he did not want Levi to see him so sick. When gramp's health turned for the worse we decided Levi needed to go, but he was told only 3 days in advance of his required departure to the slope. He didn't go because of the job, and the job was ripped out from under him anyway. Sometimes life is cruel.

I have been stressed, hurt, scared, and very emotional all week. I have been trying to hold my head high, but I'm not as strong as I wish I were. There are only two weeks left of school and I have been trying to juggle all of the above with finishing out the semester. I have only been able to complete 1 of the 4 Psychology papers I have to write and I have two finals to complete within the next few days. I cannot concentrate on school with everything that is going on, but I'm trying my hardest to push through. I can't let all of my hard work throughout this entire semester fall through the cracks now....I just need to keep pushing.

Wish all that has happened it has really placed a lot into perspective. I'm reminded that life is short and we need to cherish everyone around us. Life is not always fair and sometimes you just need to get through the rocky patches and hope for the best. Family is whats most important. I am very blessed to have such a wonderful little family and thankful for all that we have. Money is not everything and it doesn't always equal happiness. We WILL get by and see brighter days. That's a promise.

Birth Doula!!

I am so excited to begin this next journey into the birthing field! I just became a member of DONA International, which is a world wide Doula association. I wanted to take a step forward into the business of childbirth prior to getting admitted into the Masters Program for Nurse Midwifery at UW.

Yes, you heard that right...we plan on moving to Washington! I am very excited to finish out Nursing school here in Anchorage, but am even more excited to venture somewhere new with my family. We stopped in Seattle for a few days when we returned from Hawaii and it sure got both of us pumped up. We are 100% certain of our decision and intend to move in 3 years or less. (We particularly liked Arlington, about an hour north of Seattle.) I can't wait to be closer to my family and back into the lower 48. I love Alaska, but we're ready to move on.

I completely fell in love with the University of Washington's Nurse Midwifery program and I am taking this Doula step as an assurance of acceptance. By completing the DONA requirements, I will be able to start my own business as a Certified Birth Doula! I joined the Alaska Birth Network some time back and it has only strengthened my desire to help women bring their babies into this world!

So what's a Doula you ask? It comes from the ancient Greek word meaning "mother's servant." They provide physical, emotional, and informational support to women throughout their labor. Studies have found that having a Doula at your birth can result in a shorter labor with fewer complications, help to reduce negative feelings towards labor, as well as reduce the need for medical interventions. Having a Doula also significantly reduces the need for pain meds or a c-section...and you all know how I love to promote natural childbirth! Simply put, a Doula is there to help support mom, dad, and baby during the beautiful process of birth!

I will be traveling to Sacramento next month to complete a mandatory workshop for this process. I was planning on waiting for the Anchorage workshop, but unfortunately it is being held in September. I can't even imagine leaving my 2-3 week baby for a few days. Heck, Lucas was over 18 months before I left him for an entire day! Anyways, I have a list of requirements to fulfill and I am so anxious to get started! Once my workshop and packet are complete I will need to participate in 3 births before I can be certified. I am so beyond excited!! I've never been so passionate about anything in my life and I know this is the exact path I should be taking on my way to Midwifery!

And I can't wait to take some beautiful maternity pics of myself this summer to use on my website and business cards! Life is sure coming together wonderfully :)

A little variety

I was getting Lucas breakfast this morning and could only laugh when I noticed how many boxes of various Cheerios we have sitting on the top of the fridge. I am proud to admit that Lucas has only eaten healthy cereals up until recently. While in Hawaii he had a box of Captain Crunch Berries (not of my doing) and he couldn't stop raving about the "candy cereal". I am so thankful that he is back to his healthy cereal eating habits!

Does this make me a little OCD? I have this desire to change things up...on a daily basis. I don't like eating the same breakfast two days in a row and the same goes for lunch. I have to admit, I like variety! My shower even has 4 different sets of shampoo and conditioners. I like to change things up each time to keep myself happy :)